About José "The Tank" Cuervo
What can we say about José? The lovable, irrascible, mentally oblong animal? Well, the first thing we can say is that his purrer isn't broken. Ever listen to a Harley sitting next to your car at a traffic light? It's got nothing on José. You can hear him purring down the hall, or in another room. He can wake sleeping humans with the greatest of ease, merely by purring. If only we could harness the power of that purr....
José was found near the airport by a former coworker of Joann's. She couldn't have pets in her apartment and as José was a vocal kitten, she had to find a good home for him. José and Joann have lived together since July of 1996. As José's birth month is estimaged to be February of 1996, he appeared to have been around four months old when adopting Joann's home to be his.
José was adopted while Joann was attending bartending school, so he was named for his favorite drink served by his favorite bartender during her short-lived bar career. Now, you're probably wondering how he got the moniker of "The Tank". Well, it would be impolite to focus on José's size, unless he were a football player, and, sadly, he doesn't play football. Let's just say a nice vetrinarian once hefted our kitty, and after a grunt, uttered "My God... He's a tank!".
Occasionally, until it gets him riled up, he'll play with a cat toy. But mostly, José's life revolves around making life for Ike a little more exciting, and figuring out how he can rule the Food Bowl.
José is an imposing figure of a feline, at best. When he struts across the floor, you know he's there. Even if he's behind you, you know he's there. He is the king of his little world, and Ike is his subject. (Of course, Mokey truly rules both of them, but José likes to ignore that when she lets him)
We don't know exactly what José weighs in at, but I believe that he could take Mike Tyson in a ring fight any day of the week. You remember that Michael Spinks fight? You might not pay full price to watch 91 seconds of boxing, but you'd pay to watch José do his thing! And biting? Let's just say that Iron Mike isn't the only one who has that mark on his record.
He's lived through kitty trauma and is retiring nicely as an indoor kitty. He likes to relax in the condo's public hallway when he can get out of the house.
In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make-believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life.
~ Bernie Brillstein
(film and television producer)